Exam Fever!

I have written enough exams to last me a life time! I sat for an exam this morning and my antics during the exam put a smile on my face at the end of the paper.

I still remember with nostalgia letters from my grandmum which always arrived a few days before the end of term or mid term exams were to start. The letters always contained a list of exam tips and where sure to begin with BE COOL, CALM AND COLLECTED followed by READ EVERY QUESTION CAREFULLY AND GO OVER THE INSTRUCTIONS and they would end with the words DO NOT CHEAT. Im sure my grandmum knew that the kids who were once under her wings could do no such thing as cheat in an exam but she always repeated it!

I digress from my topic. This morning's paper was one I spent a normal length of time preparing for, this means I did no such thing as stay awake to cram through the night, I have never been good at such gimmicks,I would probably spend half the night snoozing and be worse off the next morning. Anyway I got into the exam hall and after reading through the questions promptly forgot my grandmas first tip, I was anything but COOL, CALM and COLLECTED. As my people would say 'one kain terror entered my heart' translated as ' I was struck with terror/fear' when I saw one of the questions.

I took a look at the second question and wanted to start crying (Im exaggerating) but I was a bundle of nerves. Since this was not the first time I was writing an exam, I took the veterans approach and moved to the next question all the while praying that God should deliver me in my time of need :))

After completing the third question, I went back to the second question and realized that I had not read through the question properly and my panic was induced by my failing to obey grannys number 2 rule, once I read the question properly it was full speed ahead:) Thank God.

I have had many more instances when I was afflicted with the common malady of exam fever which is a disorder characterized by a blank mind on glancing at the exam sheet, sweaty palms and a bounding pulse. If you have a bad case of the fever you would probably be further afflicted with visual symptoms caused by overproduction of lacrimal fluid from the tear glands resulting in blurred vision. Extremely bad cases have been known to have the neurologic manifestations of fainting spells and hysteria which has the unfortunate characteristic of being contagious. Full halls of students ready to take an exam have had to suddenly have the exam cancelled when one episode of hysteria swept through the hall:)

I have never been as badly afflicted as to develop neurologic symptoms but I had a bad case of the fever during my pharmacology viva. I had spent the night half awake and half asleep, a very bad way to prepare for a viva if I might add, so that by the time I got to the venue of the interview I was stoned and already exhibiting the first signs of the fever, tremors of the hands and feet:). I was the first candidate that morning I walked into the hall to face the external examiner not sure of what the outcome would be.

The examiners first question was pretty straight forward but when I opened my mouth to answer the question I felt the fever suddenly take hold of me, someone else was talking, I was spewing out utter rubbish! My examiner did not look impressed and asked me another question,this time I knew for sure that I was in trouble, after asking me a few more questions which in my usual manner that morning I messed up she took one look at me and said 'young lady, I thought I was going to spend only 5minutes with you but we have been here for 15mins and you have not answered any question correctly, now this is your last chance and your last question, what is .......

To my utter dismay my mouth which by now had another life of its own spewed out yet another wrong answer, She looked at me and said 'wrong, your interview is over'. Throughout the exam, I was praying seriously and sweating wondering how I could not get a single answer right, I took one step out of the door and burst into tears! My classmated gathered all around and tried consoling me, I was inconsolable, many suggested that it could not have been so bad, I disagreed and narrated what had happened during my viva. It was the 1st of May 2002 I think, I dont think I have wept as hard as I did that day, I went to my room and locked myself i refusing to open the door for the hordes of well wishers and sympathisers who generally are known to bring with them words of encouragement that can further dispel the after effects of the fever seeing that once the exam is over the fever mysteriously dissappears as it appeared leaving you weak both in body and in mind.

Anyway 7 years later I am alive and well:)) I actually passed the exam and classmates who consoled me that day laughed at me and said that I was a dramatist, Im sure they thought I exaggerated what had transpired during my viva, but I can tell you that I did not. God alone knows how I passed.

Exams are just what they are examinations, but I sure wish I never had to write a single one again:)
Enough said!