olaoluwatomi

I got myself a miracle, was able to go home for xmas, so my post on sacrifices doesnt apply to me  this year. Wishing you all a merry christmas and a Happy new Year!

I have heard many stories of people posing to be someone else e.g. School drop outs posing as soldiers, lawyers, people who work as drivers in blue chip companies pretending to be managing directors of the company when they have the rare fortune of having the car all to themselves and impressing silly giggling girls. I heard a story about someone I know who pretends to be a doctor! It actually bowled me over, this man really works as a cleaner. How on earth does a cleaner pass himself off as a doctor? It beats me, the only connection this guy has to medicine is that he cleans the rooms of some doctors! Those who informed me of his deceit say if you visit his room you may actually believe that he is one. He has medical books, a ward coat and of course the ubiquitous stethoscope. He actually convinced a lady who was described as 'enito ka iwe' (someone who has been to school, probably an undergraduate) that he was a doctor, she only became wise wh

I have been in Jos on an official assignment for a couple of days and I can tell you that I was a bit uneasy at first but I realised that we all have to die one day anyway and there were still people living in that part of the country and most importantly the number of my days is dependent not on the gun wielding or bow stringing assailants but on God who alone knows the length of my days. Anyway, it is interesting to actually visit a place that only a few days before had been a battle ground and I can tell you it was more real than watching pictures being flashed across the television screen. Anyway this post is about what I experienced and what it must have been to be around during the crises. I experienced for a few minutes the terror those caught up in the crises must have felt a few days after we arrived. We were on our way back to base after our assignment for the day and and were along a major road when all hell was let loose. People on motorcycles jumped off, motorc

I was one child that was actively discouraged from reading medicine. My father a doctor himself said several times, 'Tomi you have much better brains than to sit and read medicine, medicine is for people who can sit and apply themselves to studying the same old material. The material you will learn is all the same, a femur is a femur any day, the markings on the bone will always remain the same. But I said no all I want to do is read medicine! I don read medicine o! And after all these years I know I will surely discourage any child of mine from coming down this well beaten track. It's not to say that there is no joy in the profession but methinks that there is much more sorrow or should I say you will have to sacrifice much more than you may get back and sometimes the sheer weight of these sacrifices can be overwhelming. A doctor learns that every day is the same, there is no need to get excited about Christmas around the corner except if you are in full control of your life a

My birthday is less than a month away and I had thought I would write this post to commemorate the day but I decided not to allow the thoughts to fly away especially as I am just watching the landscape fly by as I travel back home after a weeks sojourn in the land of beauty. The inspiration for this post came from two fulani women begging for a lift at the side of the road with their calabash full of 'fura de nono' on the ground beside them. I thought of trying to decipher their ages but I knew that I would not be able to, for all I know we may have been born on the same day but life and its attendant toil has left its mark on us to varying degrees. I know I am older not because I can tell you the exact second I was born but because these days I find I am referred to more as 'madam' than before. I am knelt down to or curtsied to more often than I do the same. Initially I found it embarrassing and would rush to tell the other party not to bother but these days I smile an

I'm reading my favourite book for the umpteenth time and even though I know all the stories I still can't help laughing and chuckling when I read the pages again. I am at work and since I don't have much to do I can read but I have had to stifle my laughter so those around me don't begin to wonder if there is something wrong with me. Childhood stories are wonderful especially if they are told by an expert story teller. My favourite stories are about Lè-moo, the Wash-hand basin caused habit, Paa Adatan who boasted about defeating the 'jamani' soldiers sent by Hitler but was defeated by the 'bote' soldiers,and of course my favourite- You-Mean-Mayself. This story just about crowns all the others told in the book for me. For those of you who have read it I'm sure you'll be laughing just as I am, for those of you who haven't, you better go grab yourself a copy, Have a great 'Aké' filled weekend!

My status on facebook reads Tomi is 'looking forward to a family reunion at Christmas'. These days with the harmattan in the air (for those of you who have harmattan where you are) I can't help thinking about Christmases in the past! Talk of the ghost of Christmas past! I'm no Scrooge but I tell you I can't but wish that I was a child again. Christmas holidays were always spent in my home town, it was not Christmas if we were not in the 'village'. You woke up in the morning to the mist of harmattan in the air. The hill behind the house was hid by the clouds and the weather was cold. I still remember the morning baths and the big jar of Vaseline which we applied generously if not you looked as white as a 'naija' snow man! Christmas was a period of many celebrations in my family for there were many anniversaries, there were two wedding anniversaries and two birthday celebrations which were closely interspersed over the holiday period. All the turkeys,

Over the last few days I have done more sitting at my desk than moving around, I have been more or less a couch potato! I miss the hustle and bustle of the emergency room, wards and all but like every one around me says, enjoy the quiet while it lasts for soon the hurricane of work will begin to blow. So right now I'm no longer complaining, like the true daughter of my father I will make use of this time to prepare for the approaching storm, for it will surely come and I must not be caught unawares!

I have seen only two cases of polio, one as a medical student and one last month. Going by all the effort that has been put into its eradication, I should not have ever seen a single case of Polio, I should just have read about it like I read about the eradication of small pox, a deadly killer that has been wiped off the surface of the earth (thank God), maybe if Polio was as deadly as smallpox the same might hold true for its eradication efforts! I saw my second case of polio while I was on one of my many trips round this great country of ours a few weeks ago. Its sad to note that despite the many campaigns, advertisements on every conceivable news medium, announcements in places of worship, market places, announcements by village heads, heads of families, there are many people who believe strange things about vaccination. This child was brought by both parents to a health clinic in a rural area complaining that she could not walk for one day. She had been treated two weeks before on

Its strange that many of us take the simple discourtesies meted out to us daily by people whose services we pay for. I'm talking about the clerk at the local supermarket who would rather finish a conversation with her colleague than serve you, and not even apologise for keeping you standing or the petrol attendant who keeps your change and when you demand for it grudgingly gives you your ten naira like it was his! I went for an exam yesterday at a centre in Abuja, its an examination you write on-line. I was at the centre an hour before the exam was to start we were told to arrive 30mins before the exam but I decided to be extra careful ( I know I get no points for coming early). The first person to arrive came to open the office 12mins before my exam was to start. I greeted him and asked why we were told to come in 30mins before an exam if the centre was not opened until a few mins to the beginning of the exam. For my efforts to enquire why I had been kept waiting I did not get any

My world has been much richer because of my friends and the post below is dedicated to my first and best friend. My first friend is someone who I came into the world with. I shared the same room with her nine months before I was born and grew up sharing my first few rooms on earth with her. We have gone through a lifetime of experiences together. The stories of our early years are not amongst my earliest memories but they are tales that have been recounted over and over again. We were said to have our own special language which no one but ourselves understood and it was with mock horror that I was observed to speak to her in our language and she would go and get my shoes for me or pick up our toys while I stood by watching! I was some friend wasn't I? Later our friendship proceeded to the fighting stage, we fought over books, household chores, clothes ('that is my dress, no its mine' how could we know for sure since we had exactly the same set of clothes).I can still remem

Yes I know you know Senator Barack Obama is the President-Elect of the United States of America. For millions of black men all over the world this is a crowning moment and brings to mind the words of the Late Martin Luther King who dreamt of a day when black men would no longer be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their hearts. Senator Obama has shown that dreams can come true and I can only imagine that Martin Luther King is up there rejoicing that his dream for a UNITED states has come true after all these years. I rejoice with Senator Obama, Michelle Obama and their two daughters. Here's wishing you a most successful stay in the white house! May your shadow never grow dim!

I rarely like to mention the names of places where I work as I sometimes have to write unpleasant things about the place but for this post of mine I have decided to make an exception. For those of you who are familiar with the slogans for each state usually written on licence plates of cars or on the first few pages of diaries you would have already been able to name the place I visited during my 'johnny walker' stunts around this wonderful country. It took us about seven hours by road from the Federal Capital Territory to this state located in the north eastern part of Nigeria. I had heard a lot about this state from a friend of mine who is an indigene of the state and whom I met during the service year. She had painted a picture that made me want to change location to that state after my NYSC. The road leading to the state capital from a neighbouring state has on the left an International airport, that was the first of many surprises. The roads in the state capital were very

I remember my childhood with nostalgia, I wish those days were here again but I can distinctly remember my wishing as a child to hurry up grow and become an adult. How did I start wishing I was a child again? On Sunday I was sitting with friends and all of a sudden the topic of conversation turned to how the children of nowadays are missing out on so many important things. One friend complained about how every year she was harassed by her children's class teachers just before Christmas to buy decorations for their classrooms. She says she has repeatedly refused to do so despite her child's pleas insisting that the fun in Xmas is to allow the children make their own baubles. Of course we all began to reminisce about the hand made decorations we used to make the chains of rings we would have all so carefully coloured, the awards for the best decorated classroom. Even if we used store bought decorations it was just an add on to those we had so carefully created. I even remember th

Its been a while since I wrote anything down, I havent written anything since I left PH. So what have I been doing? I now live in the Federal Capital Territory but since I moved here I have not spent up to a week in town. I have spent my time travelling around naija. Nigeria is a beautiful country but its also a country in a sorry state! Dont mind me but its difficult to be happy about your country when so much of it is in total upheaval. Im talking mostly about the health sector. I visited a few of our general hospitals and I can tell you that they looked no better than refuse dumps..................let me not get started on them thats a topic for another day. Im enjoying my new job, trying to build up a network for now, I have so much to write but very little zeal to pour out the words, I do hope you'll forgive my lethargic state. Ciao!

I came into PH in February as a scared observer of the proceedings in the Niger Delta. I was scared of even my own shadow and this was not improved by my working at a trauma centre where victims of violence and other traumatic injuries where brought. The area of town where the hopital is located does nothing to bolster any confidence in our security system, I lost my goldchain to 'bad boys' as they are fondly called which made matters worse. Right now im not as scared as I was I have no fears that I will be kidnapped, na who wan kidnap me sef? Going to and from work still leaves me with the jitters but I can boldly walk through the streets now and know that the young men at the end of the street have better looking targets than small me! (Don't mind me my confidence has increased ever since I found out I'm leaving , who wont be confident?). What exactly will I miss about PH? For sure I wont miss the public transport system, the danfos that where my regular mode of trans

My mum always says that' the earth is the Lords and the fullness thereof, why should one stay in one spot for the rest of his/her life when God owns the whole earth?'. She uses this to support her love of travel and I guess I get my urge to 'wander' from her!:) Anyway this will most likely be my last post from the NIger Delta, as I type my bags are packed to begin my journeying (yes my new job description involves a lot of travelling) around Naija. My base will be in the.................... part of the country! Dont worry my next post will reveal my new location(s). I have enjoyed my stay in the Niger Delta, Ill confess that my initial feat of the region has subsided somewhat and I am certainly relieved to be moving out. For those of you who have been wondering what part of the Niger Delta I was in Ill finally let you know. I will be leaving Port HArcourt this weekend Deo Valence! Ill miss PH certainly but im happy to be moving on, life is all about change isnt it? Hopi

The letter below is a true copy of a letter that a patient brought with him froma trado-medical clinic! all typos are real! Traditional Orthopadic Home XXXXXX state The Orthopadic consultant In charge XXXX Hospital, XXX state. Sir, REFFERAL LETTER RE: MR XYZ ABC The above name patient had been admitted in our traditional orthopadic home after receiving medical attention and the wound sutured at the hopsital. But suture decayed as it was suture the same rather after 24hrs. Hence what is being required of you is to remove tibia (outer skeletal) so that it can give way for a new flesh and marrow to cover it up. Be it as it may, this is done as a result our inability t

I know many of you will read this one:) Everyone even hardened pips like love stories. Well this is the first one I have encountered or actually paid attention to in the course of my work. I will change details in the story and of course their names to protect their privacy, sit back and enjoy the tale. David was a young healthy man whose body may have been something to behold before the mobster attack while he was on his way to work. But in the emergency room 3months ago he was desperately fighting to survive, he sustained several stab wounds to his abdomen, fractures to both upper limbs and his face has been severely disfigured by the machetes used to cut him up. At the end of his surgery he was a shadow of himself. He had a colostomy which was put in to divert faeces because of the injury to his gut. In simple terms he passes stool from his abdominal wall and not his rectum. His wounds have healed but he is badly scarred. It took him several weeks to recover and I must confess I wa

I can hardly recognise myself. When I wanted to be a doctor I had tall dreams of being a very compassionate individual who did not yell or get frustrated with patients. One who took time to listen, empathise, understand......you can fill in the gaps. These days more often than not I dont slow down to listen, empathise or even understand them. Okay I'm exaggerating. Lets say I prefrentially discriminate. Patients who smile at me when they walk into my office greeting me first are more likely to leave my office feeling they have met a good doctor than those who barge in demanding to see a doctor, and even after I tell them I'm one they look over my head to see if there is anyone hiding behind me. Next they demand for drugs to aid in the healing of their wounds (pls tell me you know of one such drug) and when I explain that no such drug exists they look around even more as if to justify their previous thoughts that this small toad cant be a doctor. Forgive my rantings but why is i

Sometimes the above caption is true especially when I see Naija through the eyes of non-Nigerians. Remarks not meant to hurt but just stating the bare facts are like barbed arrows through my sensitive heart. When you come froma country where 'everything' works, well almost everything landing in naija not just gives you a huge jolt but an attendant destruction of those organs that should act as shock absorbers to delicate souls,(well im exaggerating!) How can a countries health care system be so disorganised they wonder, Services the govt. should be providing is non-existent. Why are their roads so bad? Do the citizens not pay their taxes to help with road repairs? Why are hteir streets so dirty? How come there are so many accidents with motorcycles? Why didnt this patient get a CT scan as soon as he came in? Why is there so much corruption? What answers do I give to such questions? Attempting to explain the ineptitude of our govt to deal with issues that pertain to life leaves

The recent furor in the United Kingdom over knife attacks (another young Nigerian was stabbed to death on the 17th of June) shows their government is determined to see an end of wanton violence. In Nigeria we dont even have the statistics of the number of persons killed after being knifed or stabbed. Its interesting that in the last three days ( I have covered the night shift) I have seen 3 victims attacked by knifes/machetes. Only one of the three ended up as a mortality. If I was to count how many I have seen since I started work in the Niger Delta if this was the United Kingdom a state of emergency would have been declared by now! The first victim was a young man who had been stabbed about an hour before he arrived at our facility. He could not have been more than 18years. He was brought in Dead by the police. Immediately I confirmed him dead his assailant (who was also barely an adult) was immediately handcuffed and taken away. The incident shook all the medical staff up and it wa

Hello everyone yours truly is live in Lagos, I am so relieved it looks like living in the Niger Delta is one big strain on my constitution, cos I arrived in Lagos at night and I did not even clutch my handbag close to me or look to see if anyone was walking behind me as I usually do when going home from work in the ND. I guess its because I feel safer in Lagos not that Lagos is a safe place. I have five days off and I just could not imagine spending them in the ND. My cousin who I went to visit in Bonny Island (see my post Bonny Island!) is going on leave at an oppurtune time. Violence has increased, threats to non-indigenes are on the rise so far non-indigenes have been given an ultimatum to leave the island before a certain date! So much for my talk about Bonny Island being a paradise, right now I wont accept a million naira to go live there! Well everyone Im in Lagos and im happy to be back home for now, I intend to enjoy all the time I have here! Ciao!

1.08am 4th July 2008 This time last year I was busy monitoring my sisters progress in labour via the GSM. I could hardly sleep, I actually did not sleep and I was exhausted in the morning when at last the watch was over. At exactly 7am she 'dropped' a healthy female child. I went off with my parents (one set of proud grandparents) to catch a glimpse of the new arrival who was now the centre of attraction( babies always seem to steal the spotlight!) My sister looked very tired and could barely sit up to acknowledge our greetings and excited cries of how light her child was and how beautiful she looked but her husband filled in the silence on her part with his response. The joy on his face could light up the artic, you could see that he was the proud father! The next day my sister tried her best to act the part of a good mother, she tried to breastfeed, to get out of bed but she was so tired. I put it all down to her being exhausted by the process of labour. On the morning of the

Would like to have, to do, to own:) Not necessarily in this order 1.Twentyfour hours access to the internet. Speed must be faster than that of light! 2. Friends to walk beside me each and every day and vice versa. 3. A library full of books I have never read and books I would love to read again and of course every edition of the National Geographic Magazine. 4. Valid airtickets to visit my family anytime I feel like! 5. A passport filled with visas to fulfill my longtime dream of travelling round the globe. 6. A Peugeot 307 brand new (dont ask me why) 7. Work in a rural district in Naija with the best medical equipment in the world, where the bills of patients have been paid for already. 8. Eat pounded yam with efo riro right now (Im hungry!) 9. Win the 10million naira prize on who wants to be a millionaire. 10. Learn to speak French, German and Hausa.

I have have had very few brushes with the men of the underworld actually I would call them views. The first time I ever saw armed robbers was on a sunday morning on our way to church. It was one of the few times I remember tying 'gele' as a child. We had just turned the corner from our house with my mum driving when we saw that a car about two cars ahead was being attacked. In the manner of rambo or someother superhuman, my mum turned the car round and we swung back into our compound in what seemed like nanoseconds. Of course my heart beat as loudly as the 'gangan' and my nicely tied gele was in shambles:) I hear stories but have never been as close to the scoundrels as when I was 5 or was it 6. So moving to the Niger Delta has been one hell of an experience. With all the stories one heard before moving here I felt a bit of trepidation taking the job. Working and living here sometimes makes you think the newspaper articles are stage managed. Everyone outside the region

Its amazing how people who come into the emergency room with fractures have their legs bound or smeared with all sorts of things! Above are pictures that tell it all!

Hmm my people im fighting one battle in this Niger Delta, not with militants o! Wetin concern me with dem. The battle I'm fighting is with boredom. Boredom? Yes o! Im really bored. This South-South kingdom is devoid of family and friends. I have friends o and a few family but they are sometimes to far away from me to connect with. Then theres my work which makes me free while others are in the office and busy when they are free! So what do I do. Today after working overnight I got home during the environmental exercise conked out. After trying to sleep(I really cant sleep with the sun shining on my face) I got out of bed ready to explore the world. But where would I go? I looked at my phone which refused to ring, where were all my friends. Luckily one of my friends remembered me, after an 8min chat the call had to end. I was back where I started. Ok I then decided to go to the supermarket to buy a few goodies! After that I remembered a friend who was just posted to this part of th

Its not like I have anything specific to write about, but I feel good when I write. Its better than talking. At least you can erase your words with just a touch of the delete key whereas when you speak your words cannot be retrieved certainly they can't be deleted. So what do I write about? Hmm, nothing is coming to mind. Let me wait a bit something will come up. Work? No im not ready to write anything bout work today. So what will I write about? Looks like im having a very real writers block! I guess i'll write something next time, hopefully!

For the first time in a long time I went on holiday:) The month of May 2008 is one month I wont forget in a hurry, I actually had 13days away from work. That might not seem like an amazing number of days away but if you consider that in over two years I have not had a break from work save the one month period I was between jobs then this is a pretty long holiday. Anyway where did I go for this break, one guess,no not the US, no not China, no not Yankari. I went to Uganda! Uganda, well I actually went for a conference but seeing that I did not come in touch with anyone asking me questions pertaining to their health it was a holiday! Uganda was really fun, I did not get to see its many parts save the capital Kampala so I can't give you a words and opposite list of the differences between Naija and Ug. All I can say is that its sometimes a good thing to visit another african country sometime. We stayed at the Speke Resort where the last commonwealth Heads of Government meeting was hel

Due to my good luck at working in a hospital where my boss took all the calls at night seeing he lived in the compound it has been over a year since I worked at night. Yesterday was my third night call in over a year and unlike my first two calls this one was far from calm.I walked to the hospital after a harrowing journey from my house. I had never gone by public transport so late at night, and while walking from the last busstop to the hospital I was convinced my big bag and I were a beautiful target of potential muggers whose images I saw in everone that passed by me.Thankfully I got in safely. I was handed over a relatively calm hospital, there were no patients waiting to be seen or reviewed in the emergency room. There was only one man who had a major operation earlier in the day in the Intensive care unit that I had to keep an eye on. The peace was shattered by the arrival of four casualties all at once. They had been passengers in the same care whose tyre had burst in motion. Th

I was walking along the row of patients waiting to see the doctor yesterday and one lady called out excitedly to me. I looked at her smiled and greeted her but her face did not ring a bell. A few minutes later, a nurse walked up to me with the same woman and said Doctor this is Mrs XYZ. I looked at her in utter amazement, she looked nothing like the patient she had been a few weeks ago! What was so amazing about her? She had been a patient in our intensive care unit just a few weeks ago. She had Tetanus! If you look up the care of patients with tetanus in any medical textbook written by anyone in a developed country, it is most likely that you will find nothing on the subject, if you do you wont find the information you need. Tetanus is no longer seen in such settings. On the other hand in Nigeria, tetanus cases are still prevalent. As a house officer during my shift working in the neonatal intensive care unit, I had as many as four babies on admission at a time during a period of two

Hi guys, this doctor is in little heaven (not London, London no fine like this). Ill rewind my story for the benefit of my viewers (sorry readers! Does anyone read my blog:). Anyway I was chatting with my cousin who works on Bonny Island and she invited me to spend the weekend with her. My journey started from the boat jetty. After a briefing on safety rules we were loaded on the boat. For some strange reason I wasnt scared, the last time I was on a boat was over a decade ago but I had no qualms about the trip, it took about 2hours but it was smooth! Arriving in Bonny, my cousin came to pick me up, my first sight of the island was of concrete, metal pipes and other materials, it didnt look like a place one would living in. But when we got to the residential quarters all that changed. It looked like I was out of Nigeria, actually I would say I was. The plase was actually clean, neat and beautiful. The streets were well tarred no pot holes, the houses were neatly arranged, the entire est

Hi guys I havent posted an article in weeks! Ise lo fa! Hmm I have over the weeks written lots of posts in my head ranging from small doctor (part 2) to Sexual Abuse and when Im in front of the system no words seem to flow. So I have decided to give you a mix. I work in a trauma centre hours of work from 8am to 8pm.For the first few days, more like weeks, I was always on my feet and of course I have lost some weight! I thought I had managed to maintain my weight but my need to pull my belt tighter and my deceptively loose trousers tell a different tale. I enjoy my work but somedays seem to be oh so bad. I developed back pain which made my work a misery. A few days before that I had thought that I was blessed not to have experienced back pain. When it started I discovered that all the rules about the care of the back also applied to me. Yes I find sleeping on the floor much more comfortable than sleeping on a mattress! Thank God the pain is slowly dissappearing now that Im obeying my ow

Hey guys, sorry I have been out of action (not missing) for a few days. From the title you can see that I have relocated officially to the Niger Delta region of our dear country. Hmm I have many tales for you, I dont know when I'll be able to share them as Im also out of constant touch with the internet. Its a whole new ball game for me, for the first time in my life Im practically on my own. Thank God for GSM I don't know what I would have done without it. Of course my major challenge is the language barrier. I fear my yoruba skills will soon be a thing of the past as the major lingua franca is broken english, did I hear you say 'Wetin I talk' I laugh to imagine how I have souned over the last few days cos the broken spoken here has a very distinct flavour as compared with down south but I will survive. Like all new doctors anywhere, they are put on the testing floor. All manner of tricks or tests are played to make you look the fool. Thank God I dont detest hard work

Being a Lagos babe or should I say 'Doc" has not been easy for me. I came to Lagos hoping that it would be a short stay. I had no immediate plans to relocate but God had other things in store for me and I am glad to be leaving Lagos once again. It has been ok while it lasted, ok I'll admit it has been some fun! I was able to join in a few family activities without the undue interferance of my job, distance was no longer a barrier to attending occasions. I was around when my niece was born and I have seen her transformation from a cute 3+kg baby to an always smiling toddler, I was home this christmas thank God for the generosity of my boss. I have numerous examples of fun times in Lag but its now time for me to spread my wings and fly away once more from the nest! I'll be resuming work in another part of ............(I'll keep this a secret for now, just want to delay the satisfaction of a few curious cats), but Ill be bringing you tidings of practice in yet another

I was doing the weekend rounds that saturday, my fellow house officer in surgery had taken a well deserved leave. I on the other hand had decided that I needed to 'work' instead of 'rest' so I had skipped taking my leave that quarter. Anyway as you may well imagine, surgery rotations are not 'yam' as my people like to say and I was under accumulated stress from my 3months in the rotation, now I was on my own and I had to see all the patients in all the wards. I'll give no further description of my work load! This patient had been admitted during the week and he had sustained an injury one of his knees which we could not repair at our centre and he was to be referred to a teaching hospital. My task was to liase with friends at a teaching hospital to find out if the procedure could be done at their place. I had contacted a friend and was still waiting for a reply, in the meantime, someone had notified the patient that I was the 'rate limiting step' to

I spent sometime talking to my sister and friend yesterday about some of the patients I had managed in the past. I thought I was over them, but talking about them brought back memories I thought had faded from my mind. But you can tell that I still remembered every detail. My house job year brought me in contact with the suffering of patients for the first time. I had as a medical student been in charge of some patients, but my time with them was limited to clerking them, and following up their progress for the few weeks ( a maximum of 8weeks), we rotated throught the units concerned. A few of them won my affections and I put in a little extra effort to visit even when my time was up. But my responsibility was limited. House job brought me face to face with death and the dying and it never becomes easier. The patients whose stories shook me were usually the young and strong, previously healthy ones. Sick children too made my heart sink lower especially if the prognosis was bad. People