Learning to Exhale!
I have a temper which has gotten better with age, so I am less hot than I was say twenty years ago. As a child I was a natural leader, I bossed around my Sib and cousins until my cousin got bigger than me and turned the table around. My temper isn't one that flares up with the slightest provocation but it gradually builds steam and smoulders underneath a very deceptive surface and God help the person who crosses me after such accumulated heat!
I dont have many examples of exploding but the few I have are not very pleasant. I can remember two instances where I really lost my cool and thats it! My family may remember loads more (Hopefully not).
One instance I remember happened when I was a child and still makes me laugh as at the end of the day I was taught a very valuable lesson, I shall tell the tale below:
Im a twin and one of the many disadvantages or advantages of being one is that you have identical clothes and this creates a lot of friction or fun as the case may be. Well my twin and I were in the habit of wearing each others clothes and seeing that my mum did not mark our clothes we ended up having very many a fight over wearing the others. This was only avoided if the clothes were in different colours. (Just a note for Iyabejis or Iyabejis to be- Either mark your twins clothes or dont buy them the same clothes). Anyway on one of these good days, my sister had as it was usual with her:) worn a shirt of mine, what went wrong with this particular action of hers was that I had planned to wear the shirt out to a birthday party the following weekend. When I saw the shirt I asked if it was mine and she replied in the negative, it was not mine but hers. Ok nothing spoil! What I forgot to check was whether mine was still intact.
Come friday evening I decided to lay aside the clothes for this party (dont bother asking whose party it was for I cannot remember) when I discovered my shirt was no longer there. I saw red, yellow, green and blue stars, in fact I saw all the colors of the rainbow at the same time! 'Toyin', I shouted 'where is my shirt?', I dont even remember what response she gave but it was not satisfactory, All I remember saying was I will report you to daddy!
Hold on guys, reporting to Daddy was not an option that we took lightly, in our little minds that was the last court, the Supreme Court if you may of the laws and statutes in the Lamikanra Household. Petty issues like that should first have gone through the magistrate courts lorded over by househelps or older cousins, then the appeal court of mummy which always handed the household matters and both the accused and defendants coming away satisfied even if the decision did not go to them; Supreme Court of Daddy was a no go area, I dont know why!
So Tomi full of fury barely containing her wrath, ignored the lower courts and headed into the inner sanctum. My dad was in his room and I had a hard time restraining my anger so I would not knock too hard spoiling my case before even broaching it. 'Daddy, daddy I sputtered, by this time I'm sure I had a fever from the rage in me:) 'Yes' he replied, 'Toyin wore my shirt, and she knew I wanted to wear the shirt tomorrow an now she wont even wash it...............my story fell from my lips in burst and stammers and my heart was almost exploding. When I finished my tale, I expected an earthquake which was my dads voice summoning Toyin, instead It was almost a whisper of my name I heard, 'Tomi' my dad called, 'Take your shirt and go and wash it'.
My eyes almost popped out incredulous, 'but daddy' I replied, 'Toyin wore my shirt....' before I could start the narrative all over again, my dad said 'Tomi, I know, go and wash your shirt'.Ha, hot tears dropped from my eyes immediately, here I was thinking Toyin was going to get it, and I was not only not getting Justice the way I wanted I was being reduced in front of my adversary as I thought of her that night, Toyin was in the corner somewhere barely holding her breath Im sure.
Anyway my dad saw the tears and as is the manner of many dads, took a few lines to explain his action, 'Tomi I know you feel this is not fair, but life is never fair'. Who was I to question his judgement, 'mi o to be' I took my shirt and went to the bathroom to wash it, I can tell you the shirt was not just washed in water and Omo but a new detergent was birthed that day, 'TOMIS TEARS'.
These days when Im tempted to hit the roof, I take some time out to exhale and on good days I remember this incident and just smile and trust me my anger disappears!
I dont have many examples of exploding but the few I have are not very pleasant. I can remember two instances where I really lost my cool and thats it! My family may remember loads more (Hopefully not).
One instance I remember happened when I was a child and still makes me laugh as at the end of the day I was taught a very valuable lesson, I shall tell the tale below:
Im a twin and one of the many disadvantages or advantages of being one is that you have identical clothes and this creates a lot of friction or fun as the case may be. Well my twin and I were in the habit of wearing each others clothes and seeing that my mum did not mark our clothes we ended up having very many a fight over wearing the others. This was only avoided if the clothes were in different colours. (Just a note for Iyabejis or Iyabejis to be- Either mark your twins clothes or dont buy them the same clothes). Anyway on one of these good days, my sister had as it was usual with her:) worn a shirt of mine, what went wrong with this particular action of hers was that I had planned to wear the shirt out to a birthday party the following weekend. When I saw the shirt I asked if it was mine and she replied in the negative, it was not mine but hers. Ok nothing spoil! What I forgot to check was whether mine was still intact.
Come friday evening I decided to lay aside the clothes for this party (dont bother asking whose party it was for I cannot remember) when I discovered my shirt was no longer there. I saw red, yellow, green and blue stars, in fact I saw all the colors of the rainbow at the same time! 'Toyin', I shouted 'where is my shirt?', I dont even remember what response she gave but it was not satisfactory, All I remember saying was I will report you to daddy!
Hold on guys, reporting to Daddy was not an option that we took lightly, in our little minds that was the last court, the Supreme Court if you may of the laws and statutes in the Lamikanra Household. Petty issues like that should first have gone through the magistrate courts lorded over by househelps or older cousins, then the appeal court of mummy which always handed the household matters and both the accused and defendants coming away satisfied even if the decision did not go to them; Supreme Court of Daddy was a no go area, I dont know why!
So Tomi full of fury barely containing her wrath, ignored the lower courts and headed into the inner sanctum. My dad was in his room and I had a hard time restraining my anger so I would not knock too hard spoiling my case before even broaching it. 'Daddy, daddy I sputtered, by this time I'm sure I had a fever from the rage in me:) 'Yes' he replied, 'Toyin wore my shirt, and she knew I wanted to wear the shirt tomorrow an now she wont even wash it...............my story fell from my lips in burst and stammers and my heart was almost exploding. When I finished my tale, I expected an earthquake which was my dads voice summoning Toyin, instead It was almost a whisper of my name I heard, 'Tomi' my dad called, 'Take your shirt and go and wash it'.
My eyes almost popped out incredulous, 'but daddy' I replied, 'Toyin wore my shirt....' before I could start the narrative all over again, my dad said 'Tomi, I know, go and wash your shirt'.Ha, hot tears dropped from my eyes immediately, here I was thinking Toyin was going to get it, and I was not only not getting Justice the way I wanted I was being reduced in front of my adversary as I thought of her that night, Toyin was in the corner somewhere barely holding her breath Im sure.
Anyway my dad saw the tears and as is the manner of many dads, took a few lines to explain his action, 'Tomi I know you feel this is not fair, but life is never fair'. Who was I to question his judgement, 'mi o to be' I took my shirt and went to the bathroom to wash it, I can tell you the shirt was not just washed in water and Omo but a new detergent was birthed that day, 'TOMIS TEARS'.
These days when Im tempted to hit the roof, I take some time out to exhale and on good days I remember this incident and just smile and trust me my anger disappears!
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