Words and Opposites!

1. I hear the hum of the refrigerator cease for a second or two my first thoughts are NEPA has struck again until I suddenly remember that in the land of the free there is no such thing as NEPA.
2. I hear the scampering of an animal on the ceiling above, my first thoughts RATS! Then I remember in this land where there is no 'gbogbo the rat', the sounds above are made by my neighbours cat!
3. I hear the hum of a bike on the road as I walk down the street, instinctively I step aside then remember that in this land where traffic lights are actually obeyed, the Okada man is non existent.
4. I ask if a book is on sale at the cooperative store, I get a look of bewilderment and an explanation that there are no sales on any items here, I forget that I ask my question in Nigerian english Is this book for sale? and promptly change it to speech decipherable by the American sales person 'Do you happen to be selling this book?
5.I repeatedly bring home the wrong item at the local supermarket or grocery store as its called. How am I to know that the fact that the Ketchup says Heinz doesnt mean that it is the Tomato Ketchup I am used to and is not one of the thousands of variants on sale which taste nothing like Heinz tomato ketchup! Like bringing home maple syrup bacon when all I wanted was bacon, plain and simple.
6. I see the policeman in his patrol car and dont pray as I pass that I wont be the hapless victim of an accidental discharge for in this place no one dangles his weapons as though they were toys and the 'men in black' are conspicously absent!
7. I dont grit my teeth in frustration at watching the green line streak slowly across the page, the sign that my mobile providers promise to be the fastest internet provider in the whole subsaharan region is broken once again. I am in an area where five seconds is too slow.
8. I have lived in an apartment for close to eight months and I have bumped into only two of four neighbours, no stopping by in the neighbours flats to ask how life is treating them or if their kids are doing just fine. I do not even know what they look like talk less of asking about their children!
9.I do not walk in the shadows at night and initially thought I was being stalked by a neighbour whose outside lights came on as I passed the house:) Motion sensors switch on the outside lights of houses on my street including mine.
10.I refused to change to a wholly american diet, but now I slowly adapt to change while I watch my stocks of Indomie Noodles, Garri and Elubo decrease slowly but steadily.
11.My mobile phone does not ring till after 9pm on just a few days, miss the naija days when I had not one but two mobile phones which would ring in tandem every few minutes plus the numerous texts that kept me busy:) My work contributed to this!

Just a few thoughts of mine as I struggle to finish my term papers, Needed a break:)