Who am I?

I watched a lady today. She stood across the street begging for quarters, cents or a dollar. She was dressed in what I would call rags, her hair tied with some funny cloth and huge beads around her neck, she stumbled around with a cup in her hand then stopped to look at her reflection in the glass. Who did she see when she took time off her quest for a dollar to look at the image in the glass? What exactly was her impression of herself? Did she look at her face and see the picture of the young girl she was many years ago with lofty dreams and aspirations? Or did she see herself like I saw her, a woman down on her luck, prowling the streets in search of her next meal, a junkie trying to raise money for her next fix? Someone to be pitied, helped or both?

Then it struck me that I needed to ask myself the same question. Who exactly am I? Do I view myself through the eyes of others or do I know who I am when no one else seems to care or be bothered? Is the person I am defined by my perceived status in society? Am I me based on where I come from, my country of origin, my friends, my hopes and aspirations? Am I defined by the schools I have attended, the company I keep and my interests? Would the I in I be treated any differently if I grew up in a different clime? Would I be a better person because I spoke another language?

There are many questions I need to answer, many thoughts I have and will still have. But only one thing is important and that is the answer to the question Who am I? Its funny that I have stumbled on the same question twice today, one when Joan in the series Army Wives in one of the behind the scene shots asks herself who she is if she is not part of the army when she suffers Traumatic Brain Injury and cannot be deployed with her battalion. The other reference is a song titled Who am I? by Casting Crowns.

So I ask myself Who am I? When I am stripped bare of all the influencing factors, of all human achievement, of any trait, accent or dress that identifies me as belonging to a particular niche who would I be? If I happened to look at myself in the reflection of the shop across the street like the woman dressed in rags who would I see? Me or someone else? I would like to say I would see the real me and not some shadow or mimic. I would see the me made in the image of God whose heart is filled with the awesome wonder of His love for me. I would see the me of me not based on peoples opinions, impressions or ideas. The me who knows that no matter what happens Ill stand strong, though the winds of life blow and try to bend me Ill stand tall. The me who is not afraid to speak the truth even when everyone delights in lies. The me who wants so much to make a difference first in her life and then in those around me. The me who diligently works to stand before Kings, the me who is full of hope and not despair. The me who is childish enough to view the clouds that gather not as impending doom but as clouds bearing the silver lining.

Finally I ask myself who am I? And I answer I am me:)

P.S- For obvious reasons all that I am or think I am is not displayed for the whole world to see. I am still discovering myself and know that as long as I live Ill continue to answer the question. My desire is that who I am conforms to who God wants me to be!