Bitter Sweet Victory!
I was young and foolish once:) I remember when I was about 6 or 7 years old, I was asked to pass around a plate of meatpies. I happily jumped to the task but I devised a method where I used the rules of the house to gain what I thought was a monumental victory! Each time I stopped in front of someone to give them half of a meatpie (the meatpie had been cut into two so everyone present would have a piece),I would spin the plate in such a way that the other party was forced to pick up the piece in front of them. I did this in such a way that I kept what my greedy eyes had selected to be the biggest piece away from everyone else. If the other party attempted to reach out and select this prized piece I would gently remind them to pick the piece in front of them. The rules of the house I had so cunningly used to my advantage were that the person sharing picked the last piece and those being served picked the piece immediately in front of them.
Of course at the end of the day I was left to devour the spoils of my witty battle but before I could put that piece in my mouth, I was descended upon by all the adults present who had witnessed me waging my greedy war. Needless to say gaining the piece of meatpie was made bitter sweet by being called 'greedy and selfish' by the adults. The meatpie was also saltier than usual seeing that it was specially seasoned by the tears that streamed down my face as I reluctantly ate it(I was made to eat it).
Was the piece of meatpie worth all the trouble I took to possess it? I daresay it wasn't. It is one childhood memory that will stay with me forever:) In the same way Im sure we have fought other battles with friends, family, colleagues over what we think is significant turf. We have had spats, verbal wars, cold wars, and devised other battle gimmicks to win at all costs. We do not care whose ox is gored, we do not care for the humiliation we bring upon others, our minds are wired and programmed to either win or win at all cost.
Can we remember the times we have spent arguing about matters that in retrospect we cant even remember what it is we argued about? Can we remember banging the doors, leaving our loved ones without a hug and a kiss all because we wanted to prove a point? Can we remember the caustic words that flowed from our lips, pens or even laptop keypads all because we wanted to prove a point and show that we were right? At the end of the day we won the battle, we had the other party concede to our victory, we even had an impartial set of judges declare us the victors! At the end of the day was the taste of battle worth all the blood that was spilt?
Did we savor the spoils of battle with the lovely taste of the victor's wine or did we taste the grit of sand in our mouths much like the meatpie I ate tasted the day that I let greed becloud my better judgement? I have learnt since the days of the meatpie that there are many battles to be fought in life but some battles can be fought without lifting a finger. The bible says that a quiet word turns away wrath, that is one example of a battle fought without recourse to weapons. Many times we lunge for the dagger at our sides and tear the other party to pieces before they even know what has hit them.
The victory over a battle won desperately to prove a point, is not a battle won-for with that seeming victory you have lost friends, severed relationships, burnt bridges that cannot be built again. Even if they are rebuilt there is a loss of precious time,and also an uneasiness that stems from a lack of trust. For if you have been badly burnt before. would you dare stretch forth your arm to embrace the one who lit the match?
Like I said in the beginning I still claim to be young but I do balk at ever wearing the tag foolish again. No victory is more important than the victory won when the battle is won with soft words, love and a genuine concern for the well being of the other party! Selah!
Of course at the end of the day I was left to devour the spoils of my witty battle but before I could put that piece in my mouth, I was descended upon by all the adults present who had witnessed me waging my greedy war. Needless to say gaining the piece of meatpie was made bitter sweet by being called 'greedy and selfish' by the adults. The meatpie was also saltier than usual seeing that it was specially seasoned by the tears that streamed down my face as I reluctantly ate it(I was made to eat it).
Was the piece of meatpie worth all the trouble I took to possess it? I daresay it wasn't. It is one childhood memory that will stay with me forever:) In the same way Im sure we have fought other battles with friends, family, colleagues over what we think is significant turf. We have had spats, verbal wars, cold wars, and devised other battle gimmicks to win at all costs. We do not care whose ox is gored, we do not care for the humiliation we bring upon others, our minds are wired and programmed to either win or win at all cost.
Can we remember the times we have spent arguing about matters that in retrospect we cant even remember what it is we argued about? Can we remember banging the doors, leaving our loved ones without a hug and a kiss all because we wanted to prove a point? Can we remember the caustic words that flowed from our lips, pens or even laptop keypads all because we wanted to prove a point and show that we were right? At the end of the day we won the battle, we had the other party concede to our victory, we even had an impartial set of judges declare us the victors! At the end of the day was the taste of battle worth all the blood that was spilt?
Did we savor the spoils of battle with the lovely taste of the victor's wine or did we taste the grit of sand in our mouths much like the meatpie I ate tasted the day that I let greed becloud my better judgement? I have learnt since the days of the meatpie that there are many battles to be fought in life but some battles can be fought without lifting a finger. The bible says that a quiet word turns away wrath, that is one example of a battle fought without recourse to weapons. Many times we lunge for the dagger at our sides and tear the other party to pieces before they even know what has hit them.
The victory over a battle won desperately to prove a point, is not a battle won-for with that seeming victory you have lost friends, severed relationships, burnt bridges that cannot be built again. Even if they are rebuilt there is a loss of precious time,and also an uneasiness that stems from a lack of trust. For if you have been badly burnt before. would you dare stretch forth your arm to embrace the one who lit the match?
Like I said in the beginning I still claim to be young but I do balk at ever wearing the tag foolish again. No victory is more important than the victory won when the battle is won with soft words, love and a genuine concern for the well being of the other party! Selah!
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ReplyDeleteWe certainly need to learn to practice "presence" more than "rights" - when we care about our "rights" we come with an agenda of self, which fuels confrontation. When we come with "presence" we come with an agenda of "us," which fuels reconciliation.
ReplyDeleteNo victory is more important than the victory won when the battle is won with soft words, love and a genuine concern for the well being of the other party!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love that closing statement. Beautiful.
@Herbhalstead fighting for our rights certainly builds strife with a selfish agenda, Your comment reminds me of Bill Ury's book 'Getting Past No-Negotiating in difficult situations' thanks for stopping by!
ReplyDelete@Micheal thank you for your kind words.